I put up with people like that for years because they were part of a group that I enjoyed playing with. Once I retired, about 2.5 years ago, I decided that enough is enough and since the major part of stress in my life was gone, I needed to knock off others pieces to really enjoy myself in retirement. Too many people out there take themselves far too seriously on the golf course. We all want to do our best but there is a reason that we are not feeing our families with our play on the golf course. Relax and enjoy this wonderful game.
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One problem with trying to “tune it out” is that TRYING to ignore something is an action, so by default you’re thinking about it. Next time one of these annoyances or distractions happens out there, take a second to close your eyes, acknowledge that this thing exists and that’s there’s really nothing you can do about it. Acknowledge and name your own emotion as well “I’m annoyed by this”. Then open your eyes, smile and nod at the person’s comment and move on. It may seem useless, but being mindful of these things in the moment makes it much easier to just let them go and not continue to build and impact us.
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haha, smart man! PG is an unfair competitive advantage
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I think this is the other solution. I’ve removed people from my golf life that were not positive contributors. Our time on the course is special, why waste it with someone who can potentially create a toxic environment for you?
Sometimes that can’t be avoided amongst a group of friends, but I’ve always gravitated towards the people that I have fun with, and just stopped engaging with those who are too negative.
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I like the idea of taking the conversation away from the course. I have only really tried to console him in the past and that was while playing. It seems like it is almost a habit to act like that while playing. Like I was saying overall he is a good golfer but he certainly lets things get the best of him while playing. Maybe I will bring something up to him during our post round beer. Thanks
One of the first articles that I read was about expectations on the course. Golf is not life or death, and its supposed to be FUN! MY wife actually brought that to life to me one day after golf. It was some tough love but she said, Why the heck do you go out there and play that game when all you do is come home mad regardless of how played? It is never good enough for you- so I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT!. I found practical golf and some books on the mental game and it has changed golf for me in a great way.
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So I think it comes down to this, as a golfer, if you laugh at this video then you don’t take yourself too seriously and can acknowledge and move on from negative people. If this makes you angry then maybe you are the issue in your group.
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Beer can (sometimes) solve problems like those. A few too many, and it could create more 
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We had a guy here who was famous for cursing. Multiple people refused to play with him. The good news was he moved to the Villages. Good luck to players there.
I honestly used to be that guy. Probably because I was learning the game and couldn’t hit the ball no matter how he’s I tried. It gets frustrating. The regular guys I play with would laugh me off and not think much about it, maybe they cut me some slack because I was new. However, I’m very surprised they continued to invite me out to the course. I have learned that the happier and more relaxed I am, the better I play, what a novel concept. As I see random guys that play with us when we don’t have a fourth act in this certain way, I ask my friends if that’s how I used to act. They say worse (on most occasions). I then ask, why the hell did you guys keep inviting me then. It really does mess up your mojo when someone is so negative and uptight. The thing is, they never said anything to me. I guess it’s just taboo to say something? Interestingly enough, it seems as if we as golfers with a good attitude would say something (especially if it’s a regular we play with). The better question is why don’t we? Why do we subject ourselves to a person who would make a fun day feel like misery and instead of enjoying the day, you feel like the round can’t be over soon enough.
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I think that’s what usually happens. If their behavior is so bad, they just isolate themselves and no one asks them to tee it up.
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This. At some point in our golf lives we mature past playing with the good old boys to playing with the people we enjoy playing with.
I can score well and that’s fun, but being a dad with a young son and a busy life, I’m just glad to be playing when I get the chance. If some miserable person is going to make that a less than enjoyable experience then I don’t need to be playing with them.
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This is 100% the answer. Life is too short to play golf with people that are not fun to play with…
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this is hilarious. I totally forgot about that. Granted I laughed, I might get pissed if it were me, at least in the moment. The I would probably laugh.
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I might be in the minority for this, but I’ve probably played 99% of my rounds as a single joined up with strangers. While I still can be impacted by them, I do think that has trained me somewhat to be better at keeping my focus on my own game. I’m not a robot out there or anything (and a decent person to play with IMO), but when I come in knowing that I could wind up playing with any type of person I think that allows me to let go of that part of the game a bit. On the odd occasion I play with someone I know, I still keep that basic mindset.
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There is someone at my course who yells loudly when he hits a bad shot. As soon as you hear the ruckus you know who it is. When I play with him I just accept that that is who he is and try and concentrate on my own game. Also I have to be mindful to not get too down on myself when things aren’t going well
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Sounds familiar. I regularly play with a fella who’s off 14 and if he doesn’t make par or hit a green in reg he’s swearing and saying he’s going to give up, throwing balls away, slamming clubs. You name it. Madness. I’ve learnt to just tune out to it now but you can see that if a new guy joins our group they often find it a long and mentally draining round. I’ve suggested he buy and read the Zen book of golf. I doubt he will.
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It’s sad to watch, and to be honest I’ve been there before. One thing we do have to consider is that we don’t know what’s really going on inside that person’s head. It could be issues that are totally unrelated to golf. Either way, it’s not fun for everyone else to be around a golfer who behaves like that - it’s a shared experience and we have to respect each other’s time.
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If I’m honest, I think I could be less than positive when I first started playing golf in my teens. I was really keen on the game and just wanted to be as good as I could be. Unrealistic expectations, self-inflicted pressure, teenage levels of testosterone and a massive slice are an unstable combo! 
I’m 42 now and have only recently returned to regular play, having just kept my hand in for the last decade or two (maybe 3-4 rounds a year). I’m playing better than I ever have - purely because I appreciate the time on the course more than ever. I can shrug off a couple of bad holes and get straight back to making a run of pars. It’s really noticeable how the right attitude sets up better play - it’s a virtuous circle that feels great to be in.
An early read for me in this second golf life was ‘Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect’ (recommended on this very site!) and I found it so helpful. Perhaps an early Xmas gift for the OP’s friend…
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one of the best golf books ever written!
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