We had a guy here who was famous for cursing. Multiple people refused to play with him. The good news was he moved to the Villages. Good luck to players there.
I honestly used to be that guy. Probably because I was learning the game and couldn’t hit the ball no matter how he’s I tried. It gets frustrating. The regular guys I play with would laugh me off and not think much about it, maybe they cut me some slack because I was new. However, I’m very surprised they continued to invite me out to the course. I have learned that the happier and more relaxed I am, the better I play, what a novel concept. As I see random guys that play with us when we don’t have a fourth act in this certain way, I ask my friends if that’s how I used to act. They say worse (on most occasions). I then ask, why the hell did you guys keep inviting me then. It really does mess up your mojo when someone is so negative and uptight. The thing is, they never said anything to me. I guess it’s just taboo to say something? Interestingly enough, it seems as if we as golfers with a good attitude would say something (especially if it’s a regular we play with). The better question is why don’t we? Why do we subject ourselves to a person who would make a fun day feel like misery and instead of enjoying the day, you feel like the round can’t be over soon enough.
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I think that’s what usually happens. If their behavior is so bad, they just isolate themselves and no one asks them to tee it up.
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This. At some point in our golf lives we mature past playing with the good old boys to playing with the people we enjoy playing with.
I can score well and that’s fun, but being a dad with a young son and a busy life, I’m just glad to be playing when I get the chance. If some miserable person is going to make that a less than enjoyable experience then I don’t need to be playing with them.
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This is 100% the answer. Life is too short to play golf with people that are not fun to play with…
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this is hilarious. I totally forgot about that. Granted I laughed, I might get pissed if it were me, at least in the moment. The I would probably laugh.
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I might be in the minority for this, but I’ve probably played 99% of my rounds as a single joined up with strangers. While I still can be impacted by them, I do think that has trained me somewhat to be better at keeping my focus on my own game. I’m not a robot out there or anything (and a decent person to play with IMO), but when I come in knowing that I could wind up playing with any type of person I think that allows me to let go of that part of the game a bit. On the odd occasion I play with someone I know, I still keep that basic mindset.
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There is someone at my course who yells loudly when he hits a bad shot. As soon as you hear the ruckus you know who it is. When I play with him I just accept that that is who he is and try and concentrate on my own game. Also I have to be mindful to not get too down on myself when things aren’t going well
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Sounds familiar. I regularly play with a fella who’s off 14 and if he doesn’t make par or hit a green in reg he’s swearing and saying he’s going to give up, throwing balls away, slamming clubs. You name it. Madness. I’ve learnt to just tune out to it now but you can see that if a new guy joins our group they often find it a long and mentally draining round. I’ve suggested he buy and read the Zen book of golf. I doubt he will.
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It’s sad to watch, and to be honest I’ve been there before. One thing we do have to consider is that we don’t know what’s really going on inside that person’s head. It could be issues that are totally unrelated to golf. Either way, it’s not fun for everyone else to be around a golfer who behaves like that - it’s a shared experience and we have to respect each other’s time.
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If I’m honest, I think I could be less than positive when I first started playing golf in my teens. I was really keen on the game and just wanted to be as good as I could be. Unrealistic expectations, self-inflicted pressure, teenage levels of testosterone and a massive slice are an unstable combo! 
I’m 42 now and have only recently returned to regular play, having just kept my hand in for the last decade or two (maybe 3-4 rounds a year). I’m playing better than I ever have - purely because I appreciate the time on the course more than ever. I can shrug off a couple of bad holes and get straight back to making a run of pars. It’s really noticeable how the right attitude sets up better play - it’s a virtuous circle that feels great to be in.
An early read for me in this second golf life was ‘Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect’ (recommended on this very site!) and I found it so helpful. Perhaps an early Xmas gift for the OP’s friend…
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one of the best golf books ever written!
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The18th at Mt Osmond GC has OB down the right hand side and trees down the left. I was on my own and came off the 17th to find 2 guys on the 18th tee. One hit his ball OB then threw his driver into the air in disgust. It hit an overhanging branch above the tee and snapped. I joined them and then heard a story about a club being stuck up high in a tree at another club. Moral is don’t throw your clubs!
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Realizing it is “okay” to choose not to play golf with grumpy, negative people. I agree, the ongoing grumbling this player is spewing is distracting and just kind of pathetic. 2 types of golfers: “get it” & “don’t get it.”
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Appropriately named show! I did get a laugh, loved the guy who calmly re-teed Sideways - and would not at all be surprised at his reaction.
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Watching it I am laughing, being the guy teeing off I’d be like seriously!!??
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There was a time in my life when I first took up the game where I resembled the jerk most people describe in this thread. It was hard to take a look in the mirror and honestly assess oneself. Luckily, I’ve played with a lot of good players and a number of better habits have rubbed off on me. I wouldn’t be too quick to give up on anyone, but at the same time, you have to be willing to cut ties if someone can’t or won’t change, especially if they’ve received constructive criticism.
These days I’m glad I play with a rotating group of guys who adhere to a single non-negotiable rule - respect your playing companions and the game.
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That’s a pretty good rule to play by!
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Probably a minority opinion, but I often find such negativity to be funny and/or endearing. Tyrell Hatton and his antics come to mind.
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It can be tough to cut ties with people for sure. Especially friends or even family. I wouldnt ever fully cut ties with family but I would stop playing golf with them at this point. You bring up a good point also that their habits and persona can rub off on you in both good and bad situations. I grew up playing with my step dad that was a great influence on me in general, but after a while I noticed his golf habits were not. I never got the push and confidence like I hear from some dads on this forum. You probably know who you are. I always felt like there were the great kid golfers and there was me trying to catch up. Kind of hard to explain… I guess it is support more than anything.
I try to make a point to support my kids and be that positive influence. I have spoken about my son who has taken golf lessons but really likes baseball more right now. I want him to know that if the work is put in, he has every chance as anyone else to achieve the goals he wants. Become a Professional baseball player, hit his driver 200 yards, get a hole in one, win a tournament and to not worry about the other people. Don’t compare yourself to them.
I got off on a tangent subject but it all comes down to being positive to the people around you because there is way too much negativity and jealousy in the world.
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