So I’m obviously obsessed with golf. I also love hanging out with my wife and would love to play golf with her too. She enjoys watching it, she enjoys coming to chip and putt with me, but she is reluctant to really dive into to the game- such as learning how to swing. I don’t really want to teach her because I’m not great and want it to be more just fun for both of us vs me telling/coaching her with what to do. Those who play golf with their significant others how did the other person get started playing? We are also reluctant to buy a set of clubs at the moment for her too. Should that come first?
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You can buy a couple of used demo clubs on eBay for her to go to the range with you. My wife used to ride with me while I was playing nine and take pictures. She would occassionally go to the range and hit balls. Then we started talking about golf and travel and she said she would take it up “one day”. But what got her really ready to play was to take a multi part clinic with a few of her female friends. That way, she did not feel intimidated and it was as much a social hour as it was instruction, but she committed because her friends were going. The teacher they went to isn’t a great instructor, but he kept it fun for them. I also had her play on a couple of scramble teams with other couples so we could all have fun together. Now she has morphed into taking individual lessons with the same guy I go to and is really loving it. We try to play 9 every Sunday afternoon and always with a 6 pack of beer and a speaker with music going. I am not saying this is the only way, but she is having a good time and wants to keep going.
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Every time my wife asks me what she’s doing wrong when playing golf my response is: “what are you doing wrong? … you’re not getting lessons from a PGA professional…” I’m smart enough to not try to teach her the game!
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My wife and I traced pretty much the same steps you did and it worked out fabulously. In 2016 I bought a series of lessons for beginning to mid level players from a teaching pro for both of us; it made sense since I had started not much earlier so could use the lessons myself. Within a few months we progressed to sets of used clubs from eBay and 9-hole community courses. I got the bug, or it got me. Although my wife only dabbled in sports occasionally all her life, she developed a keen interest and golf became our favorite activity to do together. By the time we retired in 2018 we had become committed enough to buy into a golf community with a Nicklaus-designed course. Now golf is a central part of our daily life and we couldn’t be happier with how we made the journey.
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I tried to get her into it last year, she usually rides along on my early morning rounds and take pics of the wildlife while I play. Took her to the range about 6 months ago and she walked away claiming golf made her mad. Had no interest in being that frustrated. I let it go, figured no reason to push her. She said the other day that she might try to hit some balls again. I suggested she get a lesson from someone other than me. So maybe there is hope, but it is a slow roll. I am not trying to make it into something she feels she has to do.
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Try lessons together. It sounds as if you’d conceded you need them, she needs them, and I suspect you’ll find a pro willing to do this for a price lower than the cost of both of you getting lessons. Although some people learn better on their own, edcuational theory supports the concept of students mutually supporting each other and each learning more as a result.
By the way, taking the question one step back, how do you encourage a significant other to take up the game? Volunteer to do something she likes first. I started dating my current GF 18 months ago. A couple of months after we started dating, I took ballroom dancing lessons with her–she’s really into dancing.
A couple of months later, she asked about playing golf with me and started her own lessons. We’re currently sitting in one of the lounges at JFK after completing a two-week trip to Ireland, our fourth golf trip in the last nine months, incluiding two to Florida and one to Scotland.
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Thanks for the suggestion, that’s a good point. We did ball room dancing years ago too.
Each case will be slightly different.
Is your wife interested in this game enough to commit to allow the necessary time and efforts involved in learning how to advance the golf ball?
Does your wife enjoy any type of sports? Present or in the past?
Okay, my wife was never involved in any type of sports except for her P.E. classes in school and later on with aerobic and yoga. Busy with her work and kids so she was not even interested of watching the televised golf event during the Tiger mania, when I was glued to the screen.
But now near retirement, she told me that she wish to learn the game so she could accompany me on the golf course after retirement. It helps after several of her friends retired in the past few years then reported back to her of spending time on the golf courses.
She is open minded and knows that I helped others with this game, so we started with a 7 iron which I re-shafted for her with senior graphite shaft. Soon she graduated from hitting it off the short tee to hitting it off the mat. I must say, those aerobic and yoga must have helped because she is fit and can hit the golf ball longer than some of the guys I golf with.
Anyway, it was easy after she recognized and accepted that I could help her with her game. we graduated to the other sticks in the bag. Took her on the putting greens after hitting range balls and then to the par 3 and executive golf course.
Now she’s bitten by the golf bug, so I re-shafted a set of golf clubs for her. She’ll be ready for the regular 18 come this summer.
The pint is, each individual is different so no one could tell you how to handle the situation with your wife.
If she has been chipping and putting with you but not ready to take on the full swing. You should be the one who knows her best to understand why. If not, ask her. Ask in a nice way of whether she would like to try to swing a golf club?
If you do not want to coach your wife, might be best to sign her up with a lesson or two. If she is shy, uncertain of herself, then a group lesson with a bunch of beginners will help. If she’s a competitive kind of person, get a a couple of private lessons. Ask if she’ll feel more comfortable with a female instructor instead of the traditional male teaching professional.
My wife is a person learning by visual image. Often times I’ll just explain the reasons why she miss the golf ball behind it or producing a sliced ball flight, then she’ll get it by watching me showing her what I had observed of her and the correct way to fix the issue. A very good student indeed. Unlike some of the other guys who could not put 2+2 =4.
Teaching your spouse is kind of teaching a young person. You’ll have to wait until they are ready for the next step. However, you could induce the interest to start the next step. As I found out most the youngster do not like to take individual lessons but they’ll jump in with other kids of similar age for group lessons and games. As the “First Tee” program designed for young persons.
Spouse, in may ways is very similar to this situation.
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Thanks for the insight!