Dealing with Complacency

The Mental Side of Things
#25

I’d never disagree with playing for the pure enjoyment of the game. This really came home to me a couple of years ago when I was in Myrtle Beach on a solo trip. I was playing a course as a single when I caught a family of four ahead of me: an older man in his 70s, another who appeared to be his son who was probably in his mid-40s, and two more who appeared to be the younger man’s kids. One of the kids was maybe 8 or 9; the other an older teenager who clearly suffered from a disability but who had an ingenious device that let him hit some golf shots.

They waved me through with the older man saying, “we might be a little slow.” I was again struck by how golf can accommodate players of all ages, sizes, and various abilities while providing a great time for everybody.

Enjoyment of the game itself is fundamental. Enjoyment of improvement of the game is a subset of that.

4 Likes
#26

Interesting post. What is good enough? That could depend on so many things I suppose. When I first took up golf at 30 I just wanted to be “good enough” to play in my work league. There were a lot of hackers so that didn’t take long. I was the worst player for about 2 weeks and then I was just a hacker like the rest. Good enough for 5-10 years for me. I liked golf a lot, but didn’t really love it. I had a family and other interests.

I did get better, but just because I enjoyed beating balls on the range as therapy. No practice plan though, I just enjoyed trying to hit a good shot mindlessly and it helped my play. Then one Spring I’m unexpectedly out of work with a great severance package and no job prospects. I had slowly become hooked on golf almost without realizing and with time on my hands I started figuring out how to get better…and playing more helped too. My short game was what really improved. I went from shooting 95-105 to shooting mid 80’s and with bad putting. I even broke 80 several times…really should have worked on my putting that summer as I 3 jacked multiple times in those rounds lol. My wedge game was strong and my irons were good even though the driver and putter were still weaknesses.

Once that season was over I went back to work/life reality. I’ve shot 81 a # of times since, but I can’t seem to break 80 any more. I can easily/sadly shoot high 90’s again though. I say it’s not good enough, but it really is because I still enjoy the game and other things have priority for my time. I also know that if I practice enough to shoot mid 80’s constantly again that it won’t be good enough. I’ll want to break 80 and get a PR.

Any way I think you have to figure out where your priorities lie and what is good enough with respect to golf. There is only so much time in the day especially if you have a full time job and a family. Ultimately you will have to give up doing something so that you can practice and you have to be okay with that.

2 Likes
#27

For a couple reasons. 1. Laziness :sweat_smile: 2. I really don’t feel the need to post because I don’t really measure my success by my handicap. Which I guess is on theme for this conversation.

But that brings to light the question of “how do I measure success?” And honestly right now I don’t know. Probably somewhere in the realm of just wanting to hit shots that feel good, shots that go where I want, winning the inner battle with my mind, and I still like shooting good scores. But the grind of seeing my handicap progress isn’t what drives me right now.

2 Likes
#28

You’re exactly right! Like I said to @BarryGoldberg I don’t have a strong desire to post my scores. I shoot in the mid to high 70s pretty much every time so you’re exactly right I am NOT truly a +3.7. But however inaccurate that is what my handicap says.

#29

Regardless, you reached an incredibly high level of golf. I was being a bit of an a** hole/smart a**. I can’t really help it. It is my nature.

My goal is to get to scratch and currently playing off 7 after getting to 5.5 last year.

1 Like
#30

Josh is being somewhat modest about his “USGA tournament experience.” He reached the finals of the 2017 US Mid Am (a tournament I am just trying to qualify for in general) and was ousted by Matt Parziale.

If you remember, Matt was a pretty big story at The Masters the next year because he was a fireman at the time, and he did make the cut at the U.S. Open at Shinnecock. So I think Josh was in pretty good company in that final!

6 Likes
#31

That is very cool. Us mid am is a goal of mine

2 Likes
#32

Strange day today. I had a furlough day from work so I went to a local golf course that has GCQuad monitors and spent an hour hitting balls. Mostly just wanted to see how my off-season speed training was going, but decided to test it through the bag.

Most of my session was not very good. I didn’t notice any big gains with my irons and frankly had fallen back into some old habits. But then I hit driver and was consistently above 100 mph clubhead speed and I hit some really good shots.

It was in interesting session as I reflected on this thread. When I was hitting my irons poorly I was wishing I had been more complacent this winter and kept expectations lower. I was really disappointed to see poor results. But then I had the positive experience with the driver and found myself gratified that I hadn’t been complacent this winter.

At the end I decided I just can’t wait for a warm-up and to get back outside. I have way too much time to think right now.

2 Likes
#33

Thanks for sharing your story! Really goes to show that the high level of golf you achieved requires constant maintenance. The fact that your “floor” is still solid single digits is somewhere I’d definitely like to get to.

1 Like
#34

Too much thinking (on and off the course) is the greatest enemy of enjoying golf IMO :wink:

1 Like
#35

I wish I could like this more than once. :facepunch:

1 Like
#36

No no! You were holding me accountable. Something I majorly lack now that I’m not a very disciplined golfer. I’ve replaced it with discipline in other areas (marriage, home, work, general adulting) so my own golf accountability has gotten very cold on the back burner over the last few years. So thank you!

I think you’re goal is great and honestly very doable! I’m sure you’ve heard of Sean Denning’s ([at] par_machine on twitter) journey to get down to scratch. And he’s continuing on to go lower and attempt to play in a US Mid-Am as well! So a long as you go about it the right way I definitely believe in you to reach your goal.

Yeah it was easily the best golf experience of my life. And then got to follow it up the next year with an exemption into the 2018 US Am at Pebble! To say playing in a US Mid-Am is a worthy goal is a total understatement.

No thank you! I couldn’t read yours without wanting to tell mine. But yes high level golf requires a ton of maintenance. I’m not sure how I’m able to still shoot the scores I do and hit some of the shots I do. I guess there’s still something left in there. But I think a large part of it is between my ears. Getting better and better at just going out to enjoy it relieves a lot of the pressure of trying to be perfect. And therefore leads to more freedom in the swing and stroke. And who doesn’t play better when they’re more free!

But you can get there for sure.

1 Like
#37

Yeah I won’t lie watching that Masters was at the same time super cool and also very depressing :sob: :laughing:

But Matt was easily one of the best competitors I’ve played with or against. As the commentators on tv would say he’s truly a class act

3 Likes
#38

He’s quite good. I played with him a couple of times down at a tournament in Bermuda. I knew exactly who he was the second I heard him hit an iron shot on the range. Nobody else’s shots were making that sound. Great guy!

3 Likes
#39

The sound of his iron shots is still burned into my mind :sweat_smile:

#40

Sorry, Cory, but from what I’ve read in all your posts I won’t believe you’re being “complacent”. I might believe … due to work/family/etc time constraints … you’ve decided not to spend 6-8 hours 6-7 days a week practicing and honing golf-specific skills…

Yet there’s always something to focus on in this game; eg. chipping it closer, making more 4-5 foot putts, whatever – some small, discrete thing one call orient their golf energy towards.

Within the last few seasons I was feeling like I was at a certain level with my game, and was struggling to make more progress. A side bit of background, I started golfing later in life … at 53 … and while reasonably athletic and fit had never really played much ball sports as a kid. So I thought maybe where I was, was where I was…

But…

…that wasn’t good enough. When I pick something up I want to be at least “competent” in it, and while I never ever never even dream of appearing on the Golf Channel on a Sunday afternoon … I do very much want to be a better golfer…

…which to me means many things, including: chipping it closer, making more 4-5 foot putts, …, hitting more greens on my intended approach, hitting my irons more solidly (and further would be nice), …, etc, etc.

So I committed to a series of lessons, and concomitantly (yeah, I know, big word) committed to putting my trust in my instructor to make all the changes necessary to improve my ball striking.

These lessons … obviously … are a whole, completely different story vs learning how to play the game better (but then that’s what this forum is for!).

Anyway, kinda droning on here but - and NOT to get sidetracked - but given I’m retired, along with the current environment, working to get “better” at golf had been a huge benefit for me over the past year.

So, yeah, it’s still very personal as to what do you want from golf / playing golf / your golf game …???

4 Likes
#41

I think one thing a lot of golfers seem to forget is to enjoy the game. 99% of players do this as a hobby, i.e, something fun to relax. I, like everyone, want to be better. But not at the expense of forget to ‘stop and smell the roses’. I see too many people, on lovely courses, looking grumpy because they are shooting higher then they want. Which brings me to my main point. Improving at golf, doesn’t always mean hitting the ball better. A better mental state can make the round more enjoyable and I have found, as I am more relaxed, I end up playing better. Way too much time is devoted to worrying about minor swing fixes and technical flaws to my mind. I am playing off 19, buy end of year that will be down to around 15 probably (who knows under WHS), but if not, I will have had fun trying!

6 Likes
#42

A lot of golfers have relatively short memories which helps. We played a tournament at the end of the season in brutally windy conditions. Our course is fairly tough as it is and this day would have been hard at any course. I actually played well and finished tied for 3rd, but 2 of my buddies were beaten up badly. The whole back 9 I heard about how the course was too difficult and they weren’t joining again next year…I’ve had these same thoughts. Both have already signed up again and we’re also joining a new Tuesday night 9 hole league lol.

4 Likes
#43

I don’t want to hit you with platitudes like “nothing is impossible!” or “not with that attitude!”, but I wanted to address this bit:

“At the end of the day, I’m 35 years old, 5’10”, 140 lbs., and fit(ish), so physically I’m probably only going downhill. I’m not going to be able to add 30 yards just based on athleticism."

In my opinion, at 35, you can definitely still reap benefits from physical training. It’s anecdotal, but I can tell you that after 35, I’ve experienced gains when I’ve gone through periods of focus on fitness.

I don’t think you have to chase extremes (e.g. Bryson DeChambeau). There are gains to be had even from moderate training. At the very least, you will also prolong the period of your life where there is zero decline in physical ability.

3 Likes
#44

Everyone loves to play their favorite games. Similarly my grandpa also, but unfortunately, he cannot walk properly. So, I bought a mobility scooter from seniorfitness. Now he is enjoying his life and playin with his age-fellows excitedly.